My one and only gripe is the onslaught of married men when my mate and I walk in. Neither one of us is drop dead gorgeous, perhaps we border on the attractive side, but certainly nothing that would turn your head twice. Neither one of us has any interest at this point in getting involved and if it was going to happen it would not be with Mr Married 1, Mr Married 2 or any of the other Mr Marrieds out there.
What gets to me is the total disregard for their wives on their part. They all wear rings, so they're not even trying to hide the fact that they're married. And hoo boy - mention the ring and the well rehearsed lines about unhappy marriages, complaining wives etc. fall expertly... on deaf ears.
Mr Married, I have no doubt that the reason that your wife complains all the time is because you're never home - you're at the pub. I can say with absolute certainty that the reason your marriage is unhappy is because you choose to make it so by not being where you should be - at home with the wife and kids.
To Mr Married who dropped his pants in the middle of the pub to show off his package - seriously dude, what little you had to display was not a very good advertisement for someone wanting to get laid. I've seen bigger worms crawl out of rotten apples... oh, and this little fact is probably a contributing factor to your wife's unhappiness.
To Mr Married who thought that a wad of cash being flashed each time you opened your wallet was going to get you in the door - I am an independent woman who is more than capable of buying her own drinks. Why don't you rather use it to take your kids and wife for a meal or a weekend away. That would most certainly make your marriage a little happier.
And to Mr Married who found it impossible to believe that my friend and I were NOT together, NOT in a relationship with each other and NOT sleeping with each other because we fobbed him and every other Mr Married off, I have this to say to you:
- Since you do not understand women at all (clearly), you are forgiven for not understanding that women can have a deep and sincere friendship without being "into" each other. If convincing yourself that the reason they don't welcome your advances is because they're gay allows you to sleep easier when you get home, carry on friend.
- Since you are a man, I fully understand your need to hit on anything vaguely resembling a woman in much the same manner that a dog feels the need to lift his leg against every tree and fire hydrant that he comes across. The fundamental difference is that at least the dog (the four legged one, that is) gets to relieve himself. Sadly, you are destined to chase your tail.
- Thank you for showing your true colours once you realised you were not going to get anywhere with either one of us. Your ability to turn from charming to pure ugly in such a short space of time was truly amazing, and I say this with sincerity. The only purpose it served was fair warning to side step you at every opportunity in the future.